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Talk:Zombie (1)/@comment-5430754-20130323212751
So my sister just sent me a big message about how her feelings were hurt by the way I acted during her stay. This was my response: My response is going to be very long, but this is something that should have been said years ago, so it here is. For one thing, since we're throwing it out there, you really pissed me off while you were. You said I had an attitude when you commented about my room, okay, 1. I had literally just woken up and the first thing you say to me is "This room smells like body odor." Not a hi, not a how are you, nada. Such a pleasant to greet your brother. Oh and that "body odor" smell was the febreze thing hanging on my bookshelf. Moving on, we did not have one single conversation during your trip that didn't involve my weight or me not having a job or anything non-critical. I'm working on all of those things. I really wish people would stop commenting on my weight. I am working on it, I have been for a while, but believe it or not it doesn't happen overnight. I have more than 100 pounds to lose in order to reach my target weight. Do you think that is not stressful enough without people mentioning it every five seconds? I'm also working on the job, but I haven't been submitting many applications lately because I can't be bothered to get a job right now. Cyber school is stressing me out to no end. Having to fit in 27.5 hours a week of nonstop schoolwork, sitting behind the computer, while at the same time dealing with everything in your personal life is a LOT harder than it sounds. I'm the only one who's ever taken online classes in this family, and my tolerance level for bullshit is clearly a million times higher than all of yours, I'd love for any of you to try doing this and try getting through even the first month. It's not easy. At all. Another thing, you're constantly saying an attitude. You say it all the time. Sorry if my face isn't magically carved into a smile, sorry I can't reprogram my voice to be low. if I ever do have an attitude, best believe I will make it known to you, so don't just assume things and start uneccesary arguments because really, it makes you look foolish. Now onto my final point, the things you said on Thursday were completely uncalled for. First of all, I was sitting in the car looking at pictures because I was thinking of happier times. I was actually crying before you came out into the car, but I wiped away the tears because you would have criticized me for that too. None of you down in Georgia have ANY idea what my life is like right now whatsoever. A lot has happened in the past few years, I've been through some things that you couldn't even fathom. Did you know that I tried to kill myself several times when I was A freshman? No. Did you know that when I was out sick for almost an entire month, people made rumors that I had been raped and killed because they hate me that much? No. And that's only barely scratching the surface. I'm sure it's easy to tell someone that their life is perfectly fine from where you're standing, you've escaped this hellhole of a town, you no longer have to be the monkey in the middle of the drama between your parents, which is actually nonexistant because yours are no longer fighting with each other, I highly doubt you've ever been completely alone to the point where your only friends live miles away and are people you talk to behind a computer screen. You have no idea what it's like to live in a house with a mother who treats you like a stranger off the street and a stepdad who doesn't talk to you AT ALL. I have no support system here whatsoever. Oh and go figure, mom once told me that I belong in a psychiatric ward, is constantly claiming that I need to go back on my pills because "as a mother" she can see I'm not normal, which is funny, because I'm the exact same person with or without those pills. Whenever I threatened to run away in the past she ENCOURAGED me to do it, what a great mother. i'll stop there, but basically, you know not a thing about what I put up with on a day to day basis and how broken I am inside while all the while putting up a front that I'm just fine, so I don'care what you think you know, don't you EVER condescend to tell me that my life is perfectly okay and that I'm CHOOSING to be negative. You want me to act like an adult, well meet the adult the Murphy Howard, facing things head on and letting people know exactly how I feel instead of bottling things up inside. I'm so over letting people talk to me and treat me however they please and then always making me out to be the bad guy every single time. I don't know how she'll respond, I'm just glad I finally got that off my chest